Who is that me you need to ask "release?!"
I am not she who ever spoke those words - she is not me.
In this my mind I try to comprehend the logic of your thoughts,
but only anger and revenge spew forth from you
as though I were the enemy;
Yet all I do and all I've done is love, and love, ang give,
and maybe, love too much..
Who is this me you speak of, when you pick apart my soul and spit such rage into my face?
as though you cannot bear the sight or sound or touch that just a moment breath away
you saw as life's true solace, life's one saving grace?
Who is that me, who you with such an ease obliterated,
from whom only the silence, not a single word, was tolerated?
Who is that me which lay within the pulverised silence of my disbelief,
as no defense, no word, no look even was given mercy's glance?
She is not me, I am not her.
I do not know the girl, the woman shuddering with grief,
as faults are hurled like knives into her mind, my own,
And bricks of cursing words and poison ash form beat me further still..?
She is not me, I tell myself,
that carrion filth I feel within my self as you scream more and more and yet some more
until only the corpse remains, exposed, and torn and hurting still..
I am not her..
I am not she who you insist is hateful, to be "left behind"
when undue anger raises, sudden, your abuse.
She is not me.
It may be so that I am she who lies in tattered shreds of disbelief,
as hurtful, stoning words collapse upon my ears..
It may be so I am the one choking back the tears that bleed from deep within my soul
for a peace that cannot be bought or bartered but with time,
and prayer, until you calm..
But I am SHE - that may one day come seeking for this love's treasure that till now I've placed within your hands,
and find it not..
for time and wounds too deep have left it buried in the memories of yesterday
and the empty promises of a tomorrow not yet come..
and so - find you, I beg...
and then find ME (if it is not too late)
..enough!!..
copyright@2011lifescents
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